A Helpful DBT Skill; ABC PLEASE

A valuable skill that DBT teaches for emotional regulation is the ABC PLEASE skill.

DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) does not teach us to change our emotions but to reduce our sensitivity to these emotions. When we reduce the sensitivities, our reactions change. Have you ever experienced a situation where you thought, “Man I wish I wouldn’t have reacted that way” or “I wish I didn’t blow up when that was mentioned”? That’s what DBT helps us accomplish.

Let’s use ABC PLEASE in this blog. The ABC portion of the skill focuses on reducing our sensitivity to emotions, while the PLEASE portion focuses on our bodies. The “A” part is about Accumulating Positive Emotions. We can acquire positive emotions for immediate use or as a long-term goal. Everyone has stress, responsibilities, relationships, and more that can lead to negative experiences, so to create a balance, we strive to find positive experiences that lead to positive emotions. Without these positives, we may negatively view life or avoid any experiences because we don’t want one more negative thing! These positives can be hobbies, mindfulness, fun activities, and identifying our values and goals. Accumulating positive emotions and experiences gives us a balance, which leads to a better quality of life!

The “B” part of ABC stands for Build Mastery. This part teaches us to try new things to help us feel accomplished. Without a sense of accomplishment, we may find ourselves asking, “What’s the point of all of this?” Have you ever heard the saying, “Don’t wait for (it) to find you, go find (it)?” This is what the “B” portion is telling us to do. Go, find something to learn, and celebrate the accomplishment! But, I must warn you, don’t let the new activity be too easy or too hard. We want a sense of accomplishment, not frustration. So, what is the new task you’ll try this week?

The “C” part stands for Cope Ahead. This part of the skill allows us to plan how to cope, think about future events, and relax after the event. What kind of stressful or anxious situation do you have coming up? Think about the emotions or pressures you may experience and come up with skills to use with them. (Skills could be deep breathing, using your five senses, drinking cold water, etc.). Then imagine yourself at this event, these emotions and pressures happening, and using the skills. Do this multiple times, with multiple scenarios, and with multiple coping skills. After you have completed this, engage in relaxation techniques. Now, you’ll be prepared when it happens!

The PLEASE part of this skill focuses on our bodies. If we experience Physical illness, whether short-term or chronic, we treat these as best we can. BaLanced Eating helps us long-term and makes us feel great.  Some say dieting doesn’t work, but consistency is key! Find which foods make you feel great and which foods make you feel bad and eat more of the good consistently. Avoid Mood-Altering Substances because these help us avoid the emotion, not reduce our sensitivity. Balanced Sleep can enhance our resilience. We all know that sleep is important for our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Having a consistent bedtime routine can help us stay alert, improve our sleep quality, and more. The “E” stands for Exercise. We all probably understand the benefits of exercise, but some struggle with it. Some people benefit from “Movement” instead of “Exercise” because their brain responds better to the reframe. Start with five minutes a day and gradually work up to longer times.  This way, it won’t seem so daunting and our mental and physical well-being will improve!

The ABC PLEASE skill is valuable when a person is learning to regulate their emotions. This skill teaches us to recognize the emotion and minimize our responsiveness to the emotional situation. This skill can be applied in interpersonal and intrapersonal scenarios. This skill can greatly benefit the neurodivergent population by teaching us how to respond to emotional situations more effectively.

(Great Resource: "The 12-Week DBT Plan" Dunn McBee)